If he continuously states that ‘alcohol, and drugs’ are the common denominator, I believe that this is an admission that he is in need of help in these areas, independently as well. While she makes some vaguely valid points, we’re having a bit of trouble with the brush-over of “he’s assured you that he’s not gay or bisexual (just a drunken fool).” Hooking up with one guy during a weekend bender? Maybe, just maybe, a so-called “drunken fool” move. You might even need some relationship counselling to help you work out whether you can forgive him and move on.Īll you can do is give it your best shot and, if you realise you can’t get past what he did, then at least you’ll know you tried your very best before walking away. He should probably put some distance between himself and the groom to give you the space to work things out. You obviously need to set some boundaries now – number one is that you don’t want him going on any more stag dos because you can’t trust him in that environment, and he shouldn’t mind about that. In your case the positives are these: he was honest with you about what happened straight away and he’s reassured you that he’s not gay or bisexual (just a drunken fool). The trouble with confessions is that while they unburden the confessor, the problem is dumped on the other person to deal with – and how do you do that? Of course you’re going to find it hard though. It does sound like a big drunken, drug-fuelled mess, but if you want to work on saving your marriage, then that’s your decision. You have enough to deal with, so focus on yourself and your marriage. The chances are she’ll shoot the messenger and still marry him anyway.
I think it’s up to her fiance to tell her. His friend’s wedding is in a week’s time and my husband and his friend want to keep what happened secret from the bride, but I’m not sure about that.įirst of all, I don’t think you should tell the bride to be. He told me he wants to work on our marriage, and I want to be able to forgive him, but it feels hard and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to do it.
We have a four-year-old son and my husband is a very good dad. My husband told me he isn’t gay or bi, and that it was simply down to overdoing it on the stag week in terms of drink and drugs, and that he regrets it. I’m not bothered I slept with you, we did it and that’s it.” He told me he woke up and screamed when he realised he was in a hotel bed with this guy lying next to him.īut he also admitted he’d got very drunk on another occasion and slept with the groom (his friend), who surprisingly enough isn’t angry and just said: “It’s just a bunch of stuff that happened. My husband went to Magaluf on a stag week recently and when he got back he confessed that he’d got drunk and slept with another man, blaming the fact that he was “so out of it”.